| What if all our lives were a pre-recorded movie on playback mode? What if what I'm doing was already done and I'm a figment of my own imagination? What if we're not real. But we are, and living this version hurts. It hurts to be disappointed, it hurts to be misunderstood, it hurts to be neglected. Or is it just me? The overactive imagination, neurotic, compulsive me? I miss the way things used to be, before we were adults and learned our life lessons. When you're naive, the world holds so much shine and possibility. When you're jaded, the world holds nothing but heartache and pain. Yes, I'm naive and jaded; I wish with all my heart that you'll come back but I know with all my heart that you never will. I wish I could erase you from me just as easily as I was removed from you. Three years is not enough for me. But I will be okay, won't I ... ? I wish nothing but the best for you and I truly hope you're happy. |
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| "I think one person can hardly understand why another has conducted his life in such a way, how he came to commit certain actions and not others, whether he looks upon the past with mostly pleasure or equanimity or regret. It seems difficult enough to consider one's own triumphs and failures with perfect verity, for it's no secret that the past proves a most unstable mirror, typically too severe and flattering all at once, and never as truth-reflecting as people would like to believe."
won't you dance with me . |
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After A While
After awhile you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn't mean possession
and company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept
your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the graces of an adult, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build your roads today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have ways of falling
down in mid-flight.
After awhile you learn
that even sunshine burns if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn...
-- Veronica A. Shoffstall
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